Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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