oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
