I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
