just tell him i said nine months
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
