i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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