Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
