our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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