can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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