Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
