You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
