OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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