how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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