I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
