that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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