Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
