is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
