do herpes really smell.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
