Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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