Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
