Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
