we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
