Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
