Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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