worst night to have a conscience
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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