i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
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Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
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he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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