im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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