I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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