I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
He kissed a someone with a penis
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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