I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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