just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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