Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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