she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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