i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize