Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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