He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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