I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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