I hope mine doesn't look like that
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
