Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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