I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
