reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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