You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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