some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
