Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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