After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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