I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
