Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize