Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
