pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Sorry my hands just texted you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize