OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
