So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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