office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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