Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Alive.
So much puke
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
