In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
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