Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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