After last night, I could never be a politician.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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