WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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